Three Strikes


Are you ready to cringe with me? Samesies. So my second worst date was from OKCupid. In no way, shape, or form am I knocking this dating site—my brother actually met his wife on there, and they’re perfect for each other!

This is super unlike me, but I actually messaged a guy first! I’m so shy when it comes to guys; I NEVER talk to them first.

He messaged me back and we started talking back and forth for a few weeks. We planned to go on a simple, cute date: a walk around my favorite lake, dinner, and if it all went well I was going to invite him up for a drink!

So we met, walked around the park and really hit things off. Until—we sat down on a bench and things instantly changed. He talked about himself for over an hour, and every time I tried to say something, he would make it about him (strike one).

Finally, I suggested that we go get dinner. His response (I sh*t you not): “I’m not hungry, but I’ll take you wherever you want to go I really don’t eat much, I just drink beer.” (Strike two) This is the part where y’all are probably like, “Hailey, why the heck would you keep spending time with him??” Well, I never leave a date—unless things make me super duper uncomfortable. Three strikes and you’re out, right?

Here comes strike three. On our way back to our cars, we walked over a bridge where we walked past a cluster of flowers and crosses. He smiles and goes, “what, did some idiot jump?” Someone had actually jumped off of that bridge a few weeks prior.

  1. Suicide jokes are never funny
  2. Why would anyone think that it is okay to joke about this stuff?

Needless to say that was our last date.

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